FIFTEEN SONGS
all songs music & lyrics by Cynthia Carle © (BMI)


YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME

you should have told me you were queer
you could see I was falling
it isn’t all that dark in here
and I was drooling in your kir
you should have told me you were queer

mine is a hasty heart I fear
I heard our grandchildren calling
although you didn’t sit too near
and you admired my cashmere
you should have told me you were queer

I thought that I’d struck gold
you’re sensitive and kind and sound of mind
and strong and handsome
now I’m back out in the cold
where all the men are either clones of sly stallone
or charles manson

my desperation may seem sheer
and my behavior appalling
but if you count what’s happened here
this is the fourteenth time this year
I’ve met a charming cavalier
who rode the alternate frontier
you should have told me you were queer


STILL

on a day like a sunday rain
on a smile through the snow
on echoes
if you were mine I'd never let you go
on monkey bars and rental cars
I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still wonder what you and I might have been

the trampolines
they were floors when you weren't there
those people thought we were a pair
about three hours in
I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still wonder what you and I might have been

and here we are and here we are
meeting in the place where there is no darkness
and I'm fine and you're fine
and I'm not yours and you're not mine
is that a pithy valentine
I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still wonder what you and I might have been
and I still think about you


IMPERFECT LOVE

once upon a time
happily ever after
fairy tale blues can get you down
I’m only a woman you’re nothing but a man
let’s take our chances
and throw out that blown out old fairy tale
this time around

there’ll be days I won’t care how you’re feeling
there’ll be nights when your dreams won’t come true
but it’s yours if you want it
you can count upon it
my imperfect love for you
and I’ll be there in high times and low times
and I’ll give you my shoulder for free
and I’ll call it good living long as you’re giving
your imperfect love to me

on my honor I will try
not to build you in my mind
but check out who you are day by day
you can’t make me happy
I can’t make you whole
but I can make you breakfast in bed when you’re blue
and a promise I’m in this to stay

there’ll be days I won’t care how you’re feeling
there’ll be nights when your dreams won’t come true
but it’s yours if you want it
you can count upon it
my imperfect love for you
and I’ll be there in high times and low times
and I’ll give you my shoulder for free
and I’ll call it good living long as you’re giving
your imperfect love to me


CARVED IN STONE

looking at you I’m not afraid
I’ve been turned to salt before
we know what to do
we’ve been hanging on and hanging on and now we can’t any more
we can’t any more

like a hundred years in hell
not on fire but on hold
sign your name and we’ll undo the deed
promises made long ago
carved in stone, stone wears down
and I’m worn smooth and you’re too faint to read

the world goes around
every day we wait is one more chance we miss
so let’s face it down
the hard thing is the right thing and nothing’s harder than this

like a hundred years in hell
not on fire but on hold
sign your name and we’ll undo the deed
promises made long ago
carved in stone, stone wears down
and I’m worn smooth and you’re too faint to read


THE HEATHER LOCKLEAR SONG

keeps it in a box by her bed keeps it in a box by her bed
heather locklear keeps a romantic secret in a box

could it be a photo
of an early boyfriend
one who did not know in high school
that he was homosexual
could it be a deck of cards
one with which her dad had won her mom
in a game of five card stud high low deuces wild

here at the checkout counter two questions burn through my brain
heather locklear what is your romantic secret
and how did this information find its way into this magazine
look out for your household staff heather
somebody leaked it

could it be a cheese log
a dried up bloody bandaid
maybe it's an old tv guide
the first her name was ever in
could it be a pipe bomb
intended to blow up some other actress
in case she gets a part
that heather really wanted

I could end all this speculation I could buy the magazine
I don't have to lie awake all night long just guessing
I have the required six dollars I have the inquiring mind
I have to find out I can't spend my whole life obsessing

I pick the magazine up
I'm gonna find the answer
suddenly I stop
I shove it back into the rack
don't worry heather locklear
I respect your privacy too much I don't want to know
life needs mysteries to ponder ponder ponder
ahhh
keeps it in a box by her bed
ohhh
keeps it in a box by her bed


DON’T CALL ME

next time you’re on an airplane
couple miles above the ground
and you get a bad bad feeling
like the plane is going down
and you’re digging out your cell phone
cause you want to say goodbye
don’t call me
don’t call me

cause I might want to nurse
a little fantasy along
you were late you missed that plane
the manifest is wrong
and you saw a chance to disappear
and start a brand new life
don’t call me
don’t call me

here we are in all this debt and trouble
sleepless nights and slamming doors
sometimes you can’t remember if you love me
sometimes I can’t remember why I’m yours

so let me run this daydream
that you are still alive
and you’re living in new zealand
with an understanding wife
and someday I’ll run into you
in a café by the sea
don’t call me
don’t call me
don’t call me


NATIVE DAUGHTER

america is all over me
like chili on a hot dog
like graffiti on a tree
america is all over me
like lipstick on a five year old
like crude oil on a seagull
like mayo on the jello mold
like grant all over lee
all over me

america is inside of me
like doowop in a subway car
like virus in the blood supply
like prizes in the crackerjack
like bullets in the unarmed guy
like trailers in a funnel cloud
like ice cubes in chablis
inside of me

and if I go away
if I speak some other tongue will it be true
and if I move away
won’t I still see red go white with fear and feel blue

america is all over me
like blood all over gettysburg
like murder on the next front page
like sprewell on a hardwood floor
like hendrix on the woodstock stage
like bundy on a coed's skull
like flags on suvs
like fraud all over florida
like christians on tv
like grant all over lee
like graffiti on a tree
say can you see
it’s all over me
all over me


FEAR OF CLOWNS

I was not a wimpy kid but I ran screaming
every time the circus came to town
it was not the jungle cats or the elephants with hats
it’s just I had this fear of clowns
I could take the big fat feet the rubber noses
the squirting flowers and all the other parts
the thing that worried me was the thing you could not see
who knows what evil lurks inside their hearts

fear of clowns fear of clowns
normal people don’t have painted smiles and frowns
funny tricks did not divert me I knew they were trying to hurt me
and I vowed I’d never lose my fear of clowns

many years and countless dollars later
my therapist said I had broken through
my fear of clowns had ended
which was what the clowns intended
it all hit me as I watched the evening news
and there it was, the hidden clown agenda
while I’d been letting my defenses drop
the clowns had launched phase two
they’d staged a bloodless coup
installing one of their guys at the top

fear of clowns fear of clowns
they had traded their balloon hats in for crowns
the evil prince of clowndom
with his father’s clowns around him
they had crawled out from inside
the tiny car where they were hiding
they’d ripped up the bill of rights
for their confetti-bucket fights
they had tricked us they had played us
they had made the whole world hate us
they were not just harmless bozos
they were cutthroat vicious pros so
call me crazy but I’ll keep my fear of clowns
I shall keep my fear and loathing of the clowns


GO AHEAD AND GO

you’re standing in the doorway one foot here and one foot gone
and I’m thinking of the things we never will
never will repaint the kitchen never see the sphinx at dawn
never name the real reason why we’re not together still
go ahead and go why don’t you
what’s her name is waiting for you
nothing here means nothing to you
go ahead and go

it’s cold out in your car she must be counting every minute
and you are too I see her in your eyes
I’d ask her in for coffee but I might put something in it
you know me babe I was never all that civilized
go ahead and go why don’t you
what’s her name is waiting for you
nothing here means nothing to you
go ahead and go

no history no baggage she’s a whole new game
your passion leaves your pain so far behind
but darlin’ when that sweet amnesia fades away
you’ll find the same old same old down the line

I can feel you staring at me while I’m staring at the ceiling
won’t you grab that box of books and hit the road
whatever words you’re groping for won’t change the way I’m feeling
the clock is ticking way too loud I think it might explode
go ahead and go why don’t you
what’s her name is waiting for you
nothing here means nothing to you
go ahead and go


RAG DOLL

that ring on your finger I know what it means
and day after day I’ve been trying to forget you
but night after night I give in to those wonderful dreams
and wake up alone feeling sorry I met you
so if you see me try not to say so
just let me walk on find my way home
cause if I see you I’ll be a rag doll
and a rag doll can’t stand up when she’s alone

I tried not to feel it I tried not to fall
but how do you hold back a river from flowin’
it felt so good and so right and so easy and all
but how could we reap all the love we were so in
so if you see me try not to say so
just let me walk on find my way home
cause if I see you I’ll be a rag doll
and a rag doll can’t stand up when she’s alone

and a rag doll just lies on the bed like a pillow
waiting for someone to hold her
and if I were to wait here for you like a rag doll
all I would get would be older

somewhere in some poem I think I did read
that love is a flower when it blooms in your garden
but when it’s outside your gate then you call it a weed
I knew where I stood from the moment we started
so if you see me try not to say so
just let me walk on find my way home
cause if I see you i’ll be a rag doll
and a rag doll can’t stand up when she’s alone


ONE NIGHT IN MEMPHIS

it was a quiet memphis night
you could hear the stars falling
you could hear the hound dogs calling
cross the midnight sky
and from the old motel next door
through the rustle of the leaves swaying
I could hear a man praying
sounded like a real nice guy he was saying

forgive me lord for the lie I told
for the hearts I broke for the soul I sold
I’m nobody now and I’m getting old
but I’m my own man amen
I knew I’d heard that voice before

somewhere in a dream maybe
tender as a newborn baby
but fine and strong
and then I found myself outside
heart pounding and my eyes tearing
how could I hear what I was hearing
the king was dead and gone but I heard him say

forgive me lord for the lie I told
for the hearts I broke for the soul I sold
I’m nobody now and I’m getting old
but I’m my own man amen

I went to knock upon his door
I had to know I had to see him
could it really truly be him
or was it just some man
then all at once I saw that face
and he caught me as my knees crumbled
I’ll never tell a soul I mumbled
and he took my trembling hand and said

forgive me ma’am for the lie I told
for the hearts I broke for the soul I sold
I’m nobody now and I’m getting old
forgive me y’all for the lie I told
for the hearts I broke for the soul I sold
I’m nobody now and I’m getting old
but I’m my own man amen


DESIGNATED

some old friends threw a party
hadn’t seen ‘em in a long long time
they’d always been a rough and ready good time kind of crowd
they said hey what can we get you
I said a drink they said we just can’t let you
we love you too much to see your brain cells all burned out
I said hey
go ahead and party don’t worry about a thing
I’ll bet you’ve got another case of root beer in your trunk
have another shot of that perrier
and take these keys to my chevrolet
tonight I’ll be the designated drunk

I went on out into the back yard had a talk with my friend jim beam
he and I always did see eye to eye
but my friends got all excited told me jim was not invited
I said he was just leaving and drained that bottle dry
it’s okay now kids
go ahead and party don’t worry about a thing
I’ll bet you’ve got another case of root beer in your trunk
get yourself another diet sprite
you don’t have to pass out on your lawn tonight no
I’ll be the designated drunk

now I don’t blame you for braggin’
how your every vice is gone
you say life’s just peachy on the wagon
well that’s just fine but if we all climb on then

who’s gonna dance on the table who’s gonna wreck the rug
who’s gonna sleep in the back seat all night long
who’s gonna tell those cops to go screw it
it’s a dirty job but somebody’s got to do it
I’m willing to take that responsibility on
oh don’t thank me just
go ahead and party don’t worry about a thing
I’ll bet you’ve got another case of root beer in your trunk
have another shot of that perrier
and take these keys to my chevrolet
tonight I’ll be the designated drunk
I’m happy to serve as the designated drunk


I CAN’T COME BACK

everything was ready and the rope was cut
and music filled the air
and the beautiful balloon began to rise
but dorothy wasn’t there
she called out wait don’t go without me
please come back
and she started to cry
and the wizard said i can’t come back i don’t know how it works
goodbye

I can’t come back I don’t know how it works goodbye
I know your heart is breaking and I’m sorry well honey so is mine
but there’s no way that I can hang around
your feet are on the ground
and I’m headed for the sky
I can’t come back I don’t know how it works goodbye

I’d have to be a wizard
to understand why I can’t settle down
I oughta know by now
that the answer isn’t just another town
but time is like a twister
it picks you up and drops you far from home
and you’re never any smarter
and there is no turning back
just moving on

I can’t come back I don’t know how it works goodbye
I know your heart is breaking and I’m sorry well honey so is mine
but there’s no way that I can hang around
your feet are on the ground
and I’m headed for the sky
I can’t come back I don’t know how it works goodbye


HORIZON MAN

baby baby won’t you be my horizon man
baby baby won’t you be my horizon man
don’t you come no closer than
that shimmer up ahead on highway ten
baby baby won’t you be my horizon man

baby baby won’t you move to a distant town
baby baby won’t you move to a distant town
you look so good when you’re not around
and we’re never gonna get that edge worn down
baby baby won’t you move to a distant town

baby baby won’t you call every month or two
baby baby won’t you call every month or two
my heart will stop when I hear it’s you
do you know another way to keep our love like new
baby baby won’t you call every month or two

baby baby come to see me on a friday and go home by friday night
baby baby come to see me on a friday and go home by friday night
kiss me honey hold me tight
now get out before you see me in the morning light
baby baby come to see me on a friday and go home by friday night

baby baby won’t you be my horizon man
baby baby won’t you be my horizon man
don’t you come no closer than
that shimmer up ahead on highway ten
baby baby won’t you be my horizon
my horizon man


THE FUNDAMENTALS OF CHRISTMAS

I stand here tonight with a pain in my heart
a pain I know all christians share
the truth about our lord cannot be ignored
though sometimes it seems too much to bear

it’s the very first christmas in bethlehem town
the shepherds are watching the starlight shine down
and it’s cold in the manger in the hay he is curled
he’s the sweetest little jewboy in the world

you can’t hardly tell it as he sleeps in the stall
his horns aren’t growed in yet and his nose is real small
but you won’t find much gold and myrrh in most stables so rural
he’s the sweetest little jewboy in the world

they send for a mohel to perform their son’s bris
and dream of his bar mitzvah whatever that is

he was not born to christians it’s so wrong and so sad
how could god almighty have screwed up so bad?
if they won’t eat the oysters why should they get the pearl?
he’s the sweetest
little jewboy
in the world

LIVE AND UNMEDICATED
all songs music & lyrics by Cynthia Carle © (BMI)


EASIER TO LEAVE

I knew a real sensitive guy he couldn’t stand good-byes
he chucked a girl by email so he wouldn’t see her eyes
the woman of his dreams was tough and competent and wise
and so much easier to leave
you’re okay if he likes you cause you know what turns him on
you’re okay if he likes you cause you wear a green sarong
but look out if he likes you because you are so strong
it makes you so much easier to leave

I knew a very fragile girl a real clinging vine
one day a magic fairy came and offered her a spine
no thanks she said that nasty thing would wreck my whole design
it’d make me so much easier to leave
you’re okay if he likes you cause you’re pretty in chiffon
you’re okay if he likes you cause you make chateaubriand
but look out if he likes you because you are so strong
it makes you so much easier to leave
so much easier to leave

feel free to be all you can be
and you’ll be so easy to leave

medea was a sorceress she got jason his golden fleece
and then one day he took off with this other little piece he said
you raise the kids you’ve got more balls than anyone in greece
it makes you so much easier to leave
you’re okay if he likes you for that crazy purple thong
you’re okay if he likes you cause you’re never overdrawn
but look out if he likes you because you are so strong
it makes you so much easier to leave
you’re okay if he likes you cause you let him tie one on
you’re okay if he likes you cause you always post his bond
but look out if he likes you because you are so strong
it makes you so much easier to leave
so much easier to leave


WE DIE

I got some news
we die
I’m trying not to get the blues or anything
but we die
don’t know when don’t know how
could be about a hundred more years could be right about now
it’s the one thing they say they know for sure
but way down in my deep secret heart it’s a lie
that we die
we die

it’s true from the day
we’re born
it’s just something about the way
we’re born
and the difference between us and the animals in the zoo
is they don’t know it’s coming and we do
so they just kick back and eat grass all day
while we build churches and floss and get high
cause we die
we die

hi de ho hi de hi
only thing that we know is we die

vampires don’t
they say
christians believe they won’t
okay
I don’t know but when I was a kid I had this dream
I found the truth in this big book of life and what it means
and when I woke up I couldn’t remember what it said
but I was laughing so hard that I cried
and we won’t get the joke till we die
we die

hi de ho hi de hi
only thing that we know
is we die
we die


THE REAL ME

you say you want to see me more and more
and how bout me does that sound good
I’d like to see you more and more as well
you know I really really would
it’s nice you sitting there me sitting here
it’s nice that you don’t smell the fear
would you love the real me
the one that I don’t let you see
the one with the anxiety
would you love the real me

we walk along the beach and watch the waves
and all is calm and all is bright
there doesn’t seem to be a single reason
why we shouldn’t spend the night
and before the sun goes down behind the hill
I’ll have time to get this one prescription filled
but would you love the real me
if I didn’t pharmaceutically
negotiate reality
would you love the real me

what if you knew
that it’s not just your spell I’m under
what if I’d known
about this side affect that makes me wonder
would you love the real me
the one that I don’t let you see
the unmedicated me
the one I’m not supposed to be
the one with the anxiety
and just a touch of OCD
and potential bipolarity
would you love the real me
the one who’s pfizer free
that’s pfizer with a silent p
would you love the real
me


I AM NOT FRENCH

edith piaf had no regrets in her life not one
je ne regrette rien, she would sing
she could sing while gargling
she was never ashamed of herself she never said woops
she never said what was I thinking
not even after the time she went drinking
with those siamese twins
she was french and I am not
I can’t even tell you how many regrets I’ve got
la la la la

I regret waiting too long in my life to decide to play professional hockey and now it’s too late
they cancelled the season
though I’m not sure that’s the reason
I regret not running away to Greece with that cab driver
I regret giving up my apartment in new york
I regret giving up cable
I regret spending serious money on a table I could’ve got for nothing at cost plus
I regret that I wrote several checks in my youth
that came back to me
I regret that I never blew up an accordion factory
la la la

I regret killing all of those helpless house plants
I regret letting certain guys into my pants
I regret not letting certain other guys into my pants
I am not french
I regret having slept with the ex of a friend
I regret buying bathing suits out of land’s end
I regret lots of things and I will till the end
I am not french
I am not french
I have regrets
I once bought a fiat
from a comedian
I am not french
I’m so not french


BACK TO YOU

heart drumming engine humming back road out of town
another hundred cubic miles of air for measure
I can breathe I can breathe
I was drowning in your dreams
sweet and heavy lay your love upon the water
and I flew
but I knew
I was always coming back to you

sun baking dust caking shimmer on the road
high noon and not a shadow in the desert
I can see I can see
there’s no hiding place for me
no midnight dive into the hollow of your shoulder
and it’s true
it’s what I do
I was always coming back to you
back to you
back to you
I was always coming back to you

know I’m out here somewhere in this sea of sand
sun wrinkled smiling scorpion in hand
message in a bottle written in my blood
in a language I can’t read but it feels good

heart steady feet not ready sweating out the fear
I sit beside the snake who holds the diamonds
I’m alive I’m alive
I have loved you and survived
and I’ll take the long way home around the mountains
always true
always knew
I was always coming back to you
back to you
back to you
I was always coming back to you


LOVED LIKE THAT

you say you don’t know why we never made it off the ground
well I’d laugh if that weren’t so funny
what made you think I’d stay
what kind of fool would see you for what you are
and hang around
a greyhound bus a train a plane a kayak
you know why I had to get away
cause you would’ve caught me on those fall down nights
put up with my demons and my appetites
you would’ve given all the love you had
I was not ready to be loved like that

you were the answer to a sane girl’s prayer
your eyes your voice
what’s so great about feeling good?
who needs a guy that the minute you turn your back you know that he’s stillthere?
you were a dream I was looking for a nightmare
worst of all you might have understood
you would’ve caught me on those fall down nights
put up with my demons and my appetites
you would’ve given everything you had
I was not ready to be loved like that
was not ready to be loved

now now if I ran into you in a downtown bar
would you want to know my number
would I want to know yours
or would we raise our glasses to a distant star
drink to our great good fortune
and head out different doors
you would’ve caught me on those fall down nights
put up with my demons and my appetites
you would’ve given all the love you had
I was not ready to be loved like that
was not ready to be loved
was not ready


HORIZON MAN

baby baby won’t you be my horizon man
baby baby won’t you be my horizon man
don’t you come no closer than
that shimmer up ahead on highway ten
baby baby won’t you be my horizon man

baby baby won’t you move to a distant town
baby baby won’t you move to a distant town
you look so good when you’re not around
and we’re never gonna get that edge worn down
baby baby won’t you move to a distant town

baby baby won’t you call every month or two
baby baby won’t you call every month or two
my heart will stop when I hear it’s you
do you know another way to keep our love like new
baby baby won’t you call every month or two

baby baby come to see me on a friday and go home by friday night
baby baby come to see me on a friday and go home by friday night
kiss me honey hold me tight
now get out before you see me in the morning light
baby baby come to see me on a friday and go home by friday night
baby baby won’t you be my horizon man

baby baby won’t you be my horizon man
don’t you come no closer than
that shimmer up ahead on highway ten
baby baby won’t you be my horizon
my horizon man


THE CULTURE OF LIFE

go to sleep
little zygote
funny little cell
you wouldn’t show up on a slide
but you got friends
everybody loves a zygote
and we’re gonna guard you and defend you
till we get you outside

kitchy koo
you hapless little haploid
don’t look now
we’ve got a really big surprise
once you’re born
the party’s over
we’re gonna have you breathing diesel
and feed you burgers and fries

but tonight you’re microscopic
tonight is when you count
heavenly light is all around you
we love you and respect you
we’ll shoot doctors to protect you

rest your head
oh that’s right you haven’t got one
enjoy the ride
cause it won’t last long
by the way
there’s no seat belts in your school bus
too bad you’ve gotta be born
we like you better when you’re preborn
little zygote
slumber on
slumber on
slumber on


PASSIONATE

I’ve got this project
script made me weep
it’s written by these two brothers they’re 17 18 years old
and they come from north dakota
it’s so fresh it’s so gritty
this is the movie I’ve been looking for all my life
this is gonna be the one
it’s about a son’s love for his father
or a father’s love for his son

and I’m passionate about that
as a producer and as a man
I am passionate about that
I am so passionate about that
I could spontaneously combust just talking about
excuse me that’s my phone

I’ve got this project
no not that
second draft came back a little flat I had to move on
well what do you want they were from south dakota
no this is a new thing this is disturbing this is gritty this is
got to shoot someplace where there’s no child labor laws
new guinea or texas one of those places
it’s about this nine year old girl who’s sold into white slavery
and the many many trials that she faces

and I’m passionate about that
you should see the research I’ve been doing whoo hoo hoo hoo
I’m passionate about that
if I weren’t passionate about that
there’s no way I’d go near this material
excuse me that’s my pager

I’ve got this project
by the way next time you’re doing research look out for the feds they will take your hard drive and ram it up your ass
I know what I’m talking about here
I’m looking at five years and I’m totally innocent
both my ex wives lied
but if you want authentic gritty prison drama
you got to get it from the inside

and I’m passionate about that
yo bunkie bust me down with some pruno
I’m passionate about that i’m passionate about that i’m passionate about that i’m passionate about that i’m
excuse me that’s my lawyer


VENEZUELAN ASHTRAY

lemme tell you all a story
of lost and found
I could lie and say I'm sorry
but I'm sure you'd all see through it
I was in this situation
fine home nice spouse
when this guy hits my mercedes
from behind in his camaro
when I saw him it was over
I fall right down
might as well have been rohypnol
didn't pick up my dry cleaning
anyway we flew to sweden
malmo down south
it's a very lovely city
but I didn't see a lot of it
nights of poetry and boinking
I lost three pounds
he was wanted back in rahway
but he didn't tell me that part

so we're lying there exhausted
like brussels sprouts
when his martial arts ex girlfriend
kicks the door across the bedroom
it was time to flee the country
try mindanao
see he knows this freighter's first mate
they did time in addis abbaba
but the freighter sank off fiji
just dove right down
it turns out his name is jason
did I tell you it was jascha?
he can't swim I have to save him
I almost drown
we start reading l. ron hubbard
in this weird hotel in nadi
and I get the strange sensation
I know this town
I've been here some other lifetime
with another guy named jason

the authorities are watching
pack up get out
I'll go anywhere with jason
it turns out his name is brian
my american express card
is so maxed out
I can just afford the tickets
to caracas venezuela
where this friend of brian's shows up
a former clown
he's creating a distraction
while we rob the local banco
we are boinking we are dancing
I don't care now
about anything but brian
I sit down but he's still dancing

that deja vu you had in fiji?
I've got it now
I think my husband's name is jason
and we honeymooned in fiji
brian and his friend start fighting
knock-down drag-out
I'm attending to his black eye
he says jesus you've got crow’s feet
makes it sound like it's ebola
I'm how old now?
he's lied twice about his first name
and he wants to know my birthdate
I'm asleep and brian's digging
my wallet out
he takes all my cash and credit cards
and he's sneaking toward the hallway
I smash a venezuelan ashtray
across his brow
he's unconscious and he's bleeding
and I scoop up my belongings
and I head for ujung pandang
a criminal
it's a crime to have these crows feet
but they'll never ever catch me
catch me catch me catch me


OLD CLACKBONE

old clackbone can’t catch me
I’m going riding in my suv
ain’t nothing tougher than my suv
so old clackbone can’t catch me
gonna live forever get everything I own
in between me and old clackbone

old clackbone can’t find me
got me a great big screen tv
gonna hunker down here behind my big tv
so old clackbone can’t find me
gonna live forever get everything I own
in between me and old clackbone

old clackbone search high and low
but I got some brand new designer clothes
he’ll never recognize me in my brand new clothes
though old clackbone search high and low
gonna live forever get everything I own
in between me and old clackbone

old clackbone don’t scare me none
got me a nine millimeter gun
got a eye-talian nine millimeter gun
that old clackbone don’t scare me none
gonna live forever get everything I own
in between me and old clack bone

old clackbone gonna fool him good
he can’t get in my neighborhood
got a high tech gated security neighborhood
that old clackbone gonna fool him good
gonna live forever get everything I own
in between me and old clackbone
gonna live forever get everything I own
in between me and old clackbone
you can live forever get everything you own
in between you
and old clackbone

 

 
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