FIFTEEN SONGS
all songs music & lyrics by Cynthia Carle © (BMI)
YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME
you should have told me you were queer
you could see I was falling
it isn’t all that dark in here
and I was drooling in your kir
you should have told me you were queer
mine is a hasty heart I fear
I heard our grandchildren calling
although you didn’t sit too near
and you admired my cashmere
you should have told me you were queer
I thought that I’d struck gold
you’re sensitive and kind and sound of mind
and strong and handsome
now I’m back out in the cold
where all the men are either clones of sly stallone
or charles manson
my desperation may seem sheer
and my behavior appalling
but if you count what’s happened here
this is the fourteenth time this year
I’ve met a charming cavalier
who rode the alternate frontier
you should have told me you were queer
STILL
on a day like a sunday rain
on a smile through the snow
on echoes
if you were mine I'd never let you go
on monkey bars and rental cars
I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still wonder what you and I might have been
the trampolines
they were floors when you weren't there
those people thought we were a pair
about three hours in
I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still wonder what you and I might have been
and here we are and here we are
meeting in the place where there is no darkness
and I'm fine and you're fine
and I'm not yours and you're not mine
is that a pithy valentine
I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still think about you
and I still wonder what you and I might have been
and I still think about you
IMPERFECT LOVE
once upon a time
happily ever after
fairy tale blues can get you down
I’m only a woman you’re nothing but a man
let’s take our chances
and throw out that blown out old fairy tale
this time around
there’ll be days I won’t care how you’re feeling
there’ll be nights when your dreams won’t come true
but it’s yours if you want it
you can count upon it
my imperfect love for you
and I’ll be there in high times and low times
and I’ll give you my shoulder for free
and I’ll call it good living long as you’re giving
your imperfect love to me
on my honor I will try
not to build you in my mind
but check out who you are day by day
you can’t make me happy
I can’t make you whole
but I can make you breakfast in bed when you’re blue
and a promise I’m in this to stay
there’ll be days I won’t care how you’re feeling
there’ll be nights when your dreams won’t come true
but it’s yours if you want it
you can count upon it
my imperfect love for you
and I’ll be there in high times and low times
and I’ll give you my shoulder for free
and I’ll call it good living long as you’re giving
your imperfect love to me
CARVED IN STONE
looking at you I’m not afraid
I’ve been turned to salt before
we know what to do
we’ve been hanging on and hanging on and now we can’t any more
we can’t any more
like a hundred years in hell
not on fire but on hold
sign your name and we’ll undo the deed
promises made long ago
carved in stone, stone wears down
and I’m worn smooth and you’re too faint to read
the world goes around
every day we wait is one more chance we miss
so let’s face it down
the hard thing is the right thing and nothing’s harder than this
like a hundred years in hell
not on fire but on hold
sign your name and we’ll undo the deed
promises made long ago
carved in stone, stone wears down
and I’m worn smooth and you’re too faint to read
THE HEATHER LOCKLEAR SONG
keeps it in a box by her bed keeps it in a box by her bed
heather locklear keeps a romantic secret in a box
could it be a photo
of an early boyfriend
one who did not know in high school
that he was homosexual
could it be a deck of cards
one with which her dad had won her mom
in a game of five card stud high low deuces wild
here at the checkout counter two questions burn through my brain
heather locklear what is your romantic secret
and how did this information find its way into this magazine
look out for your household staff heather
somebody leaked it
could it be a cheese log
a dried up bloody bandaid
maybe it's an old tv guide
the first her name was ever in
could it be a pipe bomb
intended to blow up some other actress
in case she gets a part
that heather really wanted
I could end all this speculation I could buy the magazine
I don't have to lie awake all night long just guessing
I have the required six dollars I have the inquiring mind
I have to find out I can't spend my whole life obsessing
I pick the magazine up
I'm gonna find the answer
suddenly I stop
I shove it back into the rack
don't worry heather locklear
I respect your privacy too much I don't want to know
life needs mysteries to ponder ponder ponder
ahhh
keeps it in a box by her bed
ohhh
keeps it in a box by her bed
DON’T CALL ME
next time you’re on an airplane
couple miles above the ground
and you get a bad bad feeling
like the plane is going down
and you’re digging out your cell phone
cause you want to say goodbye
don’t call me
don’t call me
cause I might want to nurse
a little fantasy along
you were late you missed that plane
the manifest is wrong
and you saw a chance to disappear
and start a brand new life
don’t call me
don’t call me
here we are in all this debt and trouble
sleepless nights and slamming doors
sometimes you can’t remember if you love me
sometimes I can’t remember why I’m yours
so let me run this daydream
that you are still alive
and you’re living in new zealand
with an understanding wife
and someday I’ll run into you
in a café by the sea
don’t call me
don’t call me
don’t call me
NATIVE DAUGHTER
america is all over me
like chili on a hot dog
like graffiti on a tree
america is all over me
like lipstick on a five year old
like crude oil on a seagull
like mayo on the jello mold
like grant all over lee
all over me
america is inside of me
like doowop in a subway car
like virus in the blood supply
like prizes in the crackerjack
like bullets in the unarmed guy
like trailers in a funnel cloud
like ice cubes in chablis
inside of me
and if I go away
if I speak some other tongue will it be true
and if I move away
won’t I still see red go white with fear and feel blue
america is all over me
like blood all over gettysburg
like murder on the next front page
like sprewell on a hardwood floor
like hendrix on the woodstock stage
like bundy on a coed's skull
like flags on suvs
like fraud all over florida
like christians on tv
like grant all over lee
like graffiti on a tree
say can you see
it’s all over me
all over me
FEAR OF CLOWNS
I was not a wimpy kid but I ran screaming
every time the circus came to town
it was not the jungle cats or the elephants with hats
it’s just I had this fear of clowns
I could take the big fat feet the rubber noses
the squirting flowers and all the other parts
the thing that worried me was the thing you could not see
who knows what evil lurks inside their hearts
fear of clowns fear of clowns
normal people don’t have painted smiles and frowns
funny tricks did not divert me I knew they were trying to hurt me
and I vowed I’d never lose my fear of clowns
many years and countless dollars later
my therapist said I had broken through
my fear of clowns had ended
which was what the clowns intended
it all hit me as I watched the evening news
and there it was, the hidden clown agenda
while I’d been letting my defenses drop
the clowns had launched phase two
they’d staged a bloodless coup
installing one of their guys at the top
fear of clowns fear of clowns
they had traded their balloon hats in for crowns
the evil prince of clowndom
with his father’s clowns around him
they had crawled out from inside
the tiny car where they were hiding
they’d ripped up the bill of rights
for their confetti-bucket fights
they had tricked us they had played us
they had made the whole world hate us
they were not just harmless bozos
they were cutthroat vicious pros so
call me crazy but I’ll keep my fear of clowns
I shall keep my fear and loathing of the clowns
GO AHEAD AND GO
you’re standing in the doorway one foot here and one foot gone
and I’m thinking of the things we never will
never will repaint the kitchen never see the sphinx at dawn
never name the real reason why we’re not together still
go ahead and go why don’t you
what’s her name is waiting for you
nothing here means nothing to you
go ahead and go
it’s cold out in your car she must be counting every minute
and you are too I see her in your eyes
I’d ask her in for coffee but I might put something in it
you know me babe I was never all that civilized
go ahead and go why don’t you
what’s her name is waiting for you
nothing here means nothing to you
go ahead and go
no history no baggage she’s a whole new game
your passion leaves your pain so far behind
but darlin’ when that sweet amnesia fades away
you’ll find the same old same old down the line
I can feel you staring at me while I’m staring at the ceiling
won’t you grab that box of books and hit the road
whatever words you’re groping for won’t change the way I’m feeling
the clock is ticking way too loud I think it might explode
go ahead and go why don’t you
what’s her name is waiting for you
nothing here means nothing to you
go ahead and go
RAG DOLL
that ring on your finger I know what it means
and day after day I’ve been trying to forget you
but night after night I give in to those wonderful dreams
and wake up alone feeling sorry I met you
so if you see me try not to say so
just let me walk on find my way home
cause if I see you I’ll be a rag doll
and a rag doll can’t stand up when she’s alone
I tried not to feel it I tried not to fall
but how do you hold back a river from flowin’
it felt so good and so right and so easy and all
but how could we reap all the love we were so in
so if you see me try not to say so
just let me walk on find my way home
cause if I see you I’ll be a rag doll
and a rag doll can’t stand up when she’s alone
and a rag doll just lies on the bed like a pillow
waiting for someone to hold her
and if I were to wait here for you like a rag doll
all I would get would be older
somewhere in some poem I think I did read
that love is a flower when it blooms in your garden
but when it’s outside your gate then you call it a weed
I knew where I stood from the moment we started
so if you see me try not to say so
just let me walk on find my way home
cause if I see you i’ll be a rag doll
and a rag doll can’t stand up when she’s alone
ONE NIGHT IN MEMPHIS
it was a quiet memphis night
you could hear the stars falling
you could hear the hound dogs calling
cross the midnight sky
and from the old motel next door
through the rustle of the leaves swaying
I could hear a man praying
sounded like a real nice guy he was saying
forgive me lord for the lie I told
for the hearts I broke for the soul I sold
I’m nobody now and I’m getting old
but I’m my own man amen
I knew I’d heard that voice before
somewhere in a dream maybe
tender as a newborn baby
but fine and strong
and then I found myself outside
heart pounding and my eyes tearing
how could I hear what I was hearing
the king was dead and gone but I heard him say
forgive me lord for the lie I told
for the hearts I broke for the soul I sold
I’m nobody now and I’m getting old
but I’m my own man amen
I went to knock upon his door
I had to know I had to see him
could it really truly be him
or was it just some man
then all at once I saw that face
and he caught me as my knees crumbled
I’ll never tell a soul I mumbled
and he took my trembling hand and said
forgive me ma’am for the lie I told
for the hearts I broke for the soul I sold
I’m nobody now and I’m getting old
forgive me y’all for the lie I told
for the hearts I broke for the soul I sold
I’m nobody now and I’m getting old
but I’m my own man amen
DESIGNATED
some old friends threw a party
hadn’t seen ‘em in a long long time
they’d always been a rough and ready good time kind of crowd
they said hey what can we get you
I said a drink they said we just can’t let you
we love you too much to see your brain cells all burned out
I said hey
go ahead and party don’t worry about a thing
I’ll bet you’ve got another case of root beer in your trunk
have another shot of that perrier
and take these keys to my chevrolet
tonight I’ll be the designated drunk
I went on out into the back yard had a talk with my friend jim beam
he and I always did see eye to eye
but my friends got all excited told me jim was not invited
I said he was just leaving and drained that bottle dry
it’s okay now kids
go ahead and party don’t worry about a thing
I’ll bet you’ve got another case of root beer in your trunk
get yourself another diet sprite
you don’t have to pass out on your lawn tonight no
I’ll be the designated drunk
now I don’t blame you for braggin’
how your every vice is gone
you say life’s just peachy on the wagon
well that’s just fine but if we all climb on then
who’s gonna dance on the table who’s gonna wreck the rug
who’s gonna sleep in the back seat all night long
who’s gonna tell those cops to go screw it
it’s a dirty job but somebody’s got to do it
I’m willing to take that responsibility on
oh don’t thank me just
go ahead and party don’t worry about a thing
I’ll bet you’ve got another case of root beer in your trunk
have another shot of that perrier
and take these keys to my chevrolet
tonight I’ll be the designated drunk
I’m happy to serve as the designated drunk
I CAN’T COME BACK
everything was ready and the rope was cut
and music filled the air
and the beautiful balloon began to rise
but dorothy wasn’t there
she called out wait don’t go without me
please come back
and she started to cry
and the wizard said i can’t come back i don’t know how it works
goodbye
I can’t come back I don’t know how it works goodbye
I know your heart is breaking and I’m sorry well honey so is mine
but there’s no way that I can hang around
your feet are on the ground
and I’m headed for the sky
I can’t come back I don’t know how it works goodbye
I’d have to be a wizard
to understand why I can’t settle down
I oughta know by now
that the answer isn’t just another town
but time is like a twister
it picks you up and drops you far from home
and you’re never any smarter
and there is no turning back
just moving on
I can’t come back I don’t know how it works goodbye
I know your heart is breaking and I’m sorry well honey so is mine
but there’s no way that I can hang around
your feet are on the ground
and I’m headed for the sky
I can’t come back I don’t know how it works goodbye
HORIZON MAN
baby baby won’t you be my horizon man
baby baby won’t you be my horizon man
don’t you come no closer than
that shimmer up ahead on highway ten
baby baby won’t you be my horizon man
baby baby won’t you move to a distant town
baby baby won’t you move to a distant town
you look so good when you’re not around
and we’re never gonna get that edge worn down
baby baby won’t you move to a distant town
baby baby won’t you call every month or two
baby baby won’t you call every month or two
my heart will stop when I hear it’s you
do you know another way to keep our love like new
baby baby won’t you call every month or two
baby baby come to see me on a friday and go home by friday night
baby baby come to see me on a friday and go home by friday night
kiss me honey hold me tight
now get out before you see me in the morning light
baby baby come to see me on a friday and go home by friday night
baby baby won’t you be my horizon man
baby baby won’t you be my horizon man
don’t you come no closer than
that shimmer up ahead on highway ten
baby baby won’t you be my horizon
my horizon man
THE FUNDAMENTALS OF CHRISTMAS
I stand here tonight with a pain in my heart
a pain I know all christians share
the truth about our lord cannot be ignored
though sometimes it seems too much to bear
it’s the very first christmas in bethlehem town
the shepherds are watching the starlight shine down
and it’s cold in the manger in the hay he is curled
he’s the sweetest little jewboy in the world
you can’t hardly tell it as he sleeps in the stall
his horns aren’t growed in yet and his nose is real small
but you won’t find much gold and myrrh in most stables so rural
he’s the sweetest little jewboy in the world
they send for a mohel to perform their son’s bris
and dream of his bar mitzvah whatever that is
he was not born to christians it’s so wrong and so sad
how could god almighty have screwed up so bad?
if they won’t eat the oysters why should they get the pearl?
he’s the sweetest
little jewboy
in the world